Maailman kaikkeuden parhaat vitsit

[timmy]

Little Johnny the Salesman...

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The kids filed back into class Monday morning..
They were very excited..
Their weekend assignment was to sell something,
then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off:
"I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly,
"My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained
to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath. She had trouble with Little Johnny before.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher,
"What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," saidLittle Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,
"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny,
"I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a sample.
They all said the same thing,
"Hey, this tastes like shit!"
Then I would say,
"It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

__________________
Löysin jenkkien Jeeppifoorumilta paikallisen PikkuKallen!

[timmy]

Ja toinen het perään:

Be Careful What You Wish For

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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich,
'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be
$9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the
exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A
hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the
waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it
on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket
every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I
would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would
always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'