TOP TEN CHRISTMAS GIFTS

10. Vibrators -- Surprise Mom this Christmas with a gift she can enjoy all year long!

9. Fart Fresheners -- Kinda like odor eaters for yer asshole.

8. Gift Certificates To Your Local Whorehouse -- Did anyone say STD? It's the gift that keeps on giving!

7. Pit Bulls -- These dogs make great pets...and are great for warding off unwanted law enforcement officers!

6. Pepper Spray -- The kids can play some funny pranks at school with this!

5. Jock Straps -- They're definitely becoming a fashion MUST!!!

4. Crack Pipes -- Grandma will LOVE her new crackpipe! (or did she want a crock pot???)

3. Mouse Balls -- It never hurts to have a couple extra balls for your PC mouse...just in case.

2. Crotchless Long Johns -- Eskimos say there's nothing sexier than seeing their wives or girlfriends in crotchless long johns.

1. KY Jelly -- It's cheap, and everyone loves a well-lubed rodgering from time to time.