Little Johnny
 

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events." "Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk."$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny. "Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing. Hey, this tastes like shit! Then I would say.............." It is shit." Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

Little Johnny is sitting in his math class when his good looking female teacher asks him, 'If three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, and a hunter comes along and shoots one of the birds, how many birds are left? '
Johnny answers, 'None.'
The teacher says, 'No Johnny, that's wrong. If there are three birds, and the hunter shoots one, how many are left? '
'None.'
'No Johnny, that's wrong! How do you figure? '
Johnny explains, 'When the hunter shoots his gun, the birds fly away, so there are none left. '
'Oh, I see. Well that's not the answer that I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking;' she says.

Johnny starts in, 'Well, ok then. I have a question for you. Three women are sitting on a curb eating Popsicles. The first one is licking her Popsicle, the second is sucking her Popsicle, and the third is biting her Popsicle. Which one of the women is married?
'The teacher stammers, 'Well, let me see. I guess the one who is sucking her popsicle? '
'No, actually its the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you're thinking.'

-vah