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Jokes Jokes, funny stuff

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Vanha 17.01.2002, 11:59
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Horrorskooppi


Horroscopes that say it all

Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to
be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are
inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the
same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.

Pisces (2/19 - 3/20) You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor
influence over your associates, and people resent you for
flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.

Aries (3/21 - 4/19) You are the pioneer type and hold most people
in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of
advice. You are not very nice.

Taurus (4/20 - 5/20) You are practical and persistent. You have a
dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you
are stubborn and bullheaded. You are a Communist.

Gemini (5/21 - 6/20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. Most
people like you, as you are bisexual. However, you are inclined
to expect too much for too little. In other words, you are cheap.
Geminis are known for committing incest.

Cancer (6/21 - 7/22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always
putting things off; that's why you'll never make anything of
yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.

Leo (7/23 - 8/22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think you are just pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain
and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.
Leo people are thieves.

Virgo (8/23 - 9/22) You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love.
Virgos make good bus drivers.

Libra (9/23 - 10/22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult
time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely
gay. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent.
Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of
venereal disease.

Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of
your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic.
You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you lack
talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dopers.
People laugh at you a great deal.

Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19) You are conservative and afraid of taking
risks. You don't do much of anything; you are lazy. There has
never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid
standing still for too long, as they take root and become trees.



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